Actions speak louder than words

They say that actions speak louder than words and I've blogged about the importance of body language in communicating qualities ranging from humility to charisma before.

In fact, a psychologist with the suitablly professorial name of Albert Mehrabian established that the gestures, movements, and expressions that make up our body language actually account for 55 perent of our communication effectiveness. Another 38 percent comes from the tone and quality of our voice. And only a mere 7 percent comes from the actual words that we use!

Think about it. Imagine two people giving the same presentation. One person gives the presentation but stands stiffly still while reading from his or her notes in a flat voice while avoiding eye contact with the audience. The other person points to interesting points on the screen, smiles, pauses, occasionally drops their voice to a conspiratorial whisper to underline key points, and makes great eye contact with the audience. Which would you find more compelling to observe?

Same goes for job interviews. If one candidate shifts uncomfortably from one butt cheek to the other, and speaks while fidgeting with his or her watch or a ring, it almost wouldn't matter what he or she's saying. Whereas another candidate could say the same thing, but look the interview in the eye, sitting up straight and perhaps counting key points off with his or her fingers. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to show that the second candidate is going to make the better impression.

All of that sounds obvious. But my point here is that research actually shows that your body language makes up over half of the impact you have on other people. So whether you are preparing to give a big presentation, impress colleagues in a client meeting, or wow an interviewer for a job - make sure you focus on the unspoken message that your body is communicating.

Job hunting: Dealing with a prison record

As I just mentioned, I only set up my Squidoo page on job hunting a few days ago, but the emails are already coming in from other members of that website.

An American reader posted an interesting question:

What I would request of you is to prepare a presentation for men and women coming out of prison, given that they have no education nor marketable skills. It's a tough assignment to be sure. But its what 600,000 people a year face when they come out of prison.

Wow, that's a toughie. And I have to admit that I've never coached anyone who has had a prison record.

However, I think that there are some guidelines that someone who has served out their sentence could follow to maximise their chances of finding a job:

1. Realise that it's going to take a while to get the right kind of job. Sometimes you may need to get any job to begin with and work your way back into the system before you can start to pursue the kind of jobs you really want.
2. Communicate your humility and integrity with your body language as well as words. Interviewers may be worried about your honesty and integrity - they're probably going to question your motives. And research shows that only a small proportion of your impact is determined by your words; your tone of voice, body language, and eye contact often are much more influential. So try to communicate your humility not only in what you say but also how you say it. Use very open body language. Keep your hands open and move them only slowly - try to avoid balling them up into fists as this could be read subconsciously as a sign of aggression.
3. Convey your regret for the mistakes you've made. Interviewers are much more likely to consider you if you can convince them that you have reflected upon the reasons and choices you made that led to you ending up in prison.
   
4. Boost your credibility in the eyes of interviewers by getting testimonials written about you. It will likely take a number of months to find a good job. So in those months don't waste your time by sitting by the telephone waiting for it to ring or just watching TV. Offer your services for free to local residents - even if it's just doing some gardening or picking up groceries for an elderly neighbour. Once you have done some good deeds, ask them to write you a testimonial. Even better, ask if you can use their name and telephone number to provide a post-prison character reference for you.

Good luck!

Being a psychologist and Freud

I'm a business psychologist. The 'business' bit being as important as the 'psychologist' bit. But any time I tell people what I do, at least half the time, the only bit they hear is the word 'psychologist'.

Ask anyone to tell you what they think a psychologist looks like and they'll probably describe an older man with a white beard. Ask what a psychologist does and they'll probably say that we get people to lie on couches and tell us about their innermost thoughts.

At parties I'm constantly getting asked if I can analyse people's dreams or read their body language or tell them what I'm thinking. But as a business psychologist, I don't do any of that! (Actually, no psychologist can tell what a person is thinking - those people are called telepaths and only exist in the world of science fiction!)

It's all Sigmund Freud's fault of course.

The general public has been hugely influenced by Freud's theories. So we've heard of terms like the Oedipus complex or the notion of penis envy (allegedly something women experience) or castration anxiety (allegedly what motivates men to behave the way they do). But, in recent years, many psychologists have been coming to the conclusion that Freud was talking a load of old rubbish.

Basically, he wasn't a scientist. He didn't collect data from lots of patients before coming up with his theories. He used to interview just a small handful of patients and then come up with a label to apply to everyone. There are plenty of books on the subject, but a new one has just been reviewed and summarised quite nicely by a writer in the New York Sun.

I could go on about the flaws in his methods for ages, but I won't.

Anyway, the lesson is this. The next time you meet a psychologist, please don't ask him or her to analyse your dreams or read your body language. And don't ask if we ask people to lie on couches!

Top ten tips for killer presentations

The editor of PQE (a magazine by mega-publisher LexisNexis aimed at lawyers with less than ten years' post-qualification experience - hence the acronym) asked me to write an article on the topic of handling presentation nerves. It comes out in November, which coincides nicely with the publication of one of my next books, Presentations and Public Speaking for Dummies, which comes out then too.

I just emailed the article across today. Anyway, here are my ten top tips for handling presentation jitters:

10.Say yes only to topics you can immerse yourself into. I know it's easier said than done - you might have no choice. But if you can at least find an angle you find interesting, you'll come across so much better.

9. Prepare your material thoroughly. The more research and planning you do, the less you'll be fumbling around for your words on the big day.

8. Practise, practise, practise. Think of presenting well as being on stage. Actors learn their lines, so why shouldn't you? Even if you don't want to learn your speech word-for-word, practise it to familiarise yourself with the materials.

7.Learn the skill of diaphragmatic breathing. Just as some people can bring about panic attacks by breathing incorrectly, you can summon up feelings of deep calm by breathing the right way.

6.Counter automatic negative thoughts. When we're nervous, we engage in catastrophic thinking - we worry about what could go wrong. Identify that you are engaging in catastrophic thinking and tell yourself that you're being irrational. It will help to dispel the anxiety.

5.Divert the audience's attention. If the audience is looking at a screen or flicking through a handout, that's fewer eyes on you.

4.Visualise success. Athletes do it. So why shouldn't you? Before the big day, sit quietly and use your mind's eye to visualise how you want to come across.

3. Fake it until you can make it. Sounds obvious, but the most important thing when presenting is to appear relaxed even if you don't feel it. So focus on your body language - avoid fiddling with jewellery or jangling change in your pocket at all costs.

2.Smile and laugh. Scientists have found that your body can't tell the difference between real and fake laughter. If you smile and laugh, your body releases 'happy' chemicals to make you feel less nervous.

1. Understand that practice makes perfect. If you aren't good at it, keep trying it. Keep throwing yourself into presentation situations. All animals habituate or get used to stressful situations - so every presentation you give will make it easier and easier.

When I get round to it, I'll talk about some of these in a bit more detail. Feel free to ask questions and stuff!

Job interviews: How to sound convincing

As a business psychologist, I do a lot of job interviewing. And I've just spent the last two days interviewing over a hundred candidates for just one opening. The fact that it was being filmed for a television programme is slightly incidental to my observations.

One of the questions I asked was: 'Why do you think we should give you the job?'

Most candidates replied by saying that they were honest and trustworthy, outgoing and friendly, organised and efficient, great at planning events, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...

I have to say that, only 24 hours later, I've already forgotten most of the candidates. So here's a few tips to make sure that you are remembered - and for the right reasons:

If you are going to say that you are 'outgoing and fun', make sure that your body language and tone of voice reflect that. Too many candidates said it in a listless manner and a bored look on their face that just made us want to laugh the moment they had left the room.

ANYONE can claim that they are organised and efficient or honest and trustworthy. The best way to back up any claim is always to quote a short example. We probably had around 40 or 50 candidates claim that they were 'organised'. But only one of them had managed to raise £50,000 for charity through her own efforts. Now THAT'S what I call organisation skills.

Rant over. Thanks for reading!