How to find a good coach

Both life coaching and work-based coaching are growing fields. More and more people are turning to coaches and, unsurprisingly, more and more people are turning into coaches to make money out of this trend.
There are some bad coaches out there. But there are also some good ones - like me, of course.

No, but seriously, this isn't a hard sell. I thought I'd list some of the questions you should ask yourself if you are looking for a coach to help you, whatever your issues, and wherever you are in the world:

• Do you feel comfortable with the person? You can't engage fully in coaching if you feel intimidated or nervous around your coach. You should feel relaxed enough to talk about your vulnerabilities, perhaps mistakes you have made, and difficult decisions you need to make.
• Are you confident in his or her abilities and skill level? Ask them to tell you briefly about other people they have coached in similar circumstances. Get an idea of their qualifications (and then go look those qualifications up - there are all sorts of diplomas and certificates in coaching that practically anyone can get by a short correspondence course!)
• Do you trust that this person has your best interests at heart? An unscrupulous coach may try to string the coaching process out to make more money from you. A good coach should try to empower you and help you become self-sufficient as quickly as possible.
• Do you feel both challenged and supported by this person? A coach is not there merely to offer sympathy. They might occasionally need to ask you tough questions that make you think about your motivations and issues. But, at the same time, they should push you only so far as you want to be pushed. You must ultimately drive the pace of coaching rather than your coach.

Even as little as five years ago, coaching was seen more as a luxury afforded only by senior managers. Increasingly, people across the board are seeking professional coaching for all manner of issues. Make sure you find a coach who is just right for you.

Priorities, life goals, and career dissatisfaction

As a business psychologist, I often coach people not only on issues at work, but also more broadly in their lives too.

Quite often, my coachee might express dissatisfaction about a specific issue at work - perhaps bad relationships with a colleague, poor promotion prospects, or team conflict. But then it frequently turns out that they actually have some measure of dissatisfaction about their work/life balance too.

Of course many people are driven to succeed. They feel that they have to do well. But are they actually happy doing what they do?

The Tombstone Test is one way of helping people figure out what matters to them. But, to go into more detail, I often find it helpful to help coachees to work through the 'four Ss' of life and career fulfillment:

• Success - the material trappings of doing well at work. So this might be measured in terms of greater responsibility and decision making power, material wealth, a big salary, a corner office, and so on. How much money, responsibility and power do you need? Does more make you actually happier?
  
• Status - we all have some need for recognition and respect. And some people need status and recognition more than others - perhaps in the form of job titles or the number of people who look up to us at work. How much status do you need? Are you stuck on the treadmill of earning in order to impress other people when the only person you should be trying to impress is (obviously) yourself?
  
• Satisfaction - the extent to which we actually enjoy our work. Do you honestly love and have a passion for what you do?
  
• Significance - the extent to which we feel our work is impacting positively on colleagues, the local community, the environment and so on. Is your work creating a legacy for you and the people who matter to you?

It's a cliche that no one on their death bed ever said they wished they'd worked harder. And working through the extent to which you need the 'four Ss' in your work might help you figure out what direction your career should be going in.

The Tombstone Test: Will death become you?

As a business psychologist, I get involved in a a fair amount of coaching. Everyone wants to be more successful and to achieve more.

But sometimes people are a bit hazy in their goals. Do you know what your purpose in life is?

It sounds very grand to say that you have a purpose in life. But a purpose (or some people like to call it a vision or mission or life direction - it really doesn't matter what it's called) will save you a lot of grief when it comes to making career and life decisions.

The way to figure out your purpose in life is to take the Tombstone Test: What would you like to have written on your tombstone?

Is your purpose in life to be successful working in a bigger business for someone else? Or to set up your own business? Perhaps you want to be remembered as a famous author - in which case you'd better start writing that novel soon, hadn't you? Or maybe your life purpose is nothing to do with work, but to do with your family or your spiritual beliefs? In which case perhaps you need to take a less stressful and more fulfilling job to allow you to pursue those outside interests.

Only when you know your purpose and direction can you invest effort in achieving it. There's no point 'working hard' or trying to 'achieve more' if you don't know what you're working towards or trying to achieve.