Mumbles and mutterings on somethin' at work

It's nearly 11 o'clock at night and I've just spent the last couple of hours working on the two new books I'm writing. Books take time to write and, on top of the day job as a coach and business psychologist, that means evenings and weekends until the end of May!

But I just found a slip of paper from when I was coaching someone who wanted to improve his impact during meetings, presentations, and even conversations. Much of the time these days, how you come across is determined as much by how you speak as what you say.

This particular person, my coachee, tended to mumble his words. He barely opened his lips and the sounds came out all... smushed.

Of course these things were not as apparent to him as they were to everyone around him.

So we used a vocal exercise to help him warm up his mouth and tongue. Very simply, it required that he repeat a set of syllables a couple of times each, pronouncing them very clearly:

• "Puh buh" - warms up the front of the mouth and your lips;
• "Kuh guh" - warms up the back of the mouth and the bit of your tongue nearer the throat;
• "Tuh duh" - warms up the middle bit in between the other two, so the middle and front part of your tongue.
  

So if you ever want to do some vocal warm-ups before an important interview, a meeting, a presentation, try it. Simply repeat each of the phrases a handful of times each. You'll relax the muscles and your voice should come out much more clearly and confidently.

Actions speak louder than words

They say that actions speak louder than words and I've blogged about the importance of body language in communicating qualities ranging from humility to charisma before.

In fact, a psychologist with the suitablly professorial name of Albert Mehrabian established that the gestures, movements, and expressions that make up our body language actually account for 55 perent of our communication effectiveness. Another 38 percent comes from the tone and quality of our voice. And only a mere 7 percent comes from the actual words that we use!

Think about it. Imagine two people giving the same presentation. One person gives the presentation but stands stiffly still while reading from his or her notes in a flat voice while avoiding eye contact with the audience. The other person points to interesting points on the screen, smiles, pauses, occasionally drops their voice to a conspiratorial whisper to underline key points, and makes great eye contact with the audience. Which would you find more compelling to observe?

Same goes for job interviews. If one candidate shifts uncomfortably from one butt cheek to the other, and speaks while fidgeting with his or her watch or a ring, it almost wouldn't matter what he or she's saying. Whereas another candidate could say the same thing, but look the interview in the eye, sitting up straight and perhaps counting key points off with his or her fingers. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to show that the second candidate is going to make the better impression.

All of that sounds obvious. But my point here is that research actually shows that your body language makes up over half of the impact you have on other people. So whether you are preparing to give a big presentation, impress colleagues in a client meeting, or wow an interviewer for a job - make sure you focus on the unspoken message that your body is communicating.

Self-awareness - and most people's lack of it

Think you have a good sense of humour? Think you are a better than average driver? The answers are probably yes.

It may be true for you, dear reader. But studies generally show that most people actually have very little self-awareness of their actual strengths and weaknesses. To get technical, the research shows that the correlation between self-perceptions and performance typically hovers around 0.29 - which ain't very high at all.

This is true also of skills in the workplace.

This was brought home to me just last week when I was running an assessment centre for some senior managers. The managers were applying for a senior role that would have put them in charge of ten times as many people as they currently had responsibility for. And as part of the assessment centre, they had to give a 20-minute presentation and then answer questions for another 20 minutes. But I was gob-smacked by how bad some of them were. Some of these guys had put themselves forward for this job even though they were clearly, clearly wrong for the job. All of us interviewers could see it and we felt embarrassed for them. But the amazing bit was that they didn't realise that they were totally out of their depth at all.

The reality is that most people overestimate their ability. And the ones who underestimate their ability are often the ones who are actually better at it then average! In other words, hardly anyone ever thinks that they are 'average'. In fact, the average person believes themselves to be more socially skilled, disciplined, leader-like, and better judges of character than the average person. Clearly, even a basic understanding of maths shows that the average person can't be above average!

To go on, most people overestimate how long it will take to do tasks. Most people at work overestimate their popularity. Most people at work underestimate the extent to which their mistakes have been noticed by the people around them.

Unfortunately, these biases make us not very good at the stuff we want to do! It leads us to make more mistakes and to get into situations for which we are clearly not qualified.

Let's cut to the chase. What can you do about it?

Ask for feedback. The research clearly shows that other people are usually better able to predict our success in a variety of situations than we ourselves are able to do. They can often see that our romances are doomed. They can see that we should quit a job because it's wrong for us, or that we should go for a promotion because it's right for us (even if we think we aren't good enough). They can see that we haven't done enough preparation for a big presentation or that we don't have the skill to take on a certain project.

So ask.

But it's tough. I'm sure you can think of plenty of instances in which you've seen other people lacking self-awareness. The trick is learning to identify when it's you who is lacking that critical self-awareness.

Presentations and public speaking

I read some survey a while back that said that the biggest fear that people have at work is about having to stand up in front of others and give a presentation.

It's something that I can really identify with. Nowadays I'm fairly happy to speak to large groups of people (for example, I was speaking to 1500 graduands and their guests a few weeks ago). But I remember that I used to be so terrified of having to speak even in front of my class mates at school that I'd make up excuses to get out of it. And even when I started my first job, I was so nervous about having to speak in front of a handful of colleagues or clients that I'd feel this rising feeling of sickness in my throat. Trust me, it wasn't pleasant.

But I wanted to get better at presenting and public speaking, so I've worked at it. Lots of preparation and rehearsing, and using some psychological techniques to cope with anxiety.

So now to the present day.

My latest book (I think it's my 13th - but can't remember and can't really be bothered to go count the number of books I've written) just came out last week. Presentations and Public Speaking for Dummies is actually my first collaborative work - I wrote it in conjunction with an American business speaker and writer called Malcolm Kushner. And it's not a bad book (even if I do say so myself!)

Presentation anxiety: The full story

At the start of last month, I posted on the topic of presentation anxiety. I'd been asked to write an article for PQE, a magazine aimed at lawyers.

But the article is just as relevant for anyone who needs to stand up in front of a group of people and present - whether it's a handful of fellow students in a class tutorial or hundreds of journalists and shareholders at an AGM.

Anyway, if you'd like to download a pdf of the full article, you can get it from the News section of the Talentspace website (that's where I work, by the way!) or by clicking here.

Top ten tips for killer presentations

The editor of PQE (a magazine by mega-publisher LexisNexis aimed at lawyers with less than ten years' post-qualification experience - hence the acronym) asked me to write an article on the topic of handling presentation nerves. It comes out in November, which coincides nicely with the publication of one of my next books, Presentations and Public Speaking for Dummies, which comes out then too.

I just emailed the article across today. Anyway, here are my ten top tips for handling presentation jitters:

10.Say yes only to topics you can immerse yourself into. I know it's easier said than done - you might have no choice. But if you can at least find an angle you find interesting, you'll come across so much better.

9. Prepare your material thoroughly. The more research and planning you do, the less you'll be fumbling around for your words on the big day.

8. Practise, practise, practise. Think of presenting well as being on stage. Actors learn their lines, so why shouldn't you? Even if you don't want to learn your speech word-for-word, practise it to familiarise yourself with the materials.

7.Learn the skill of diaphragmatic breathing. Just as some people can bring about panic attacks by breathing incorrectly, you can summon up feelings of deep calm by breathing the right way.

6.Counter automatic negative thoughts. When we're nervous, we engage in catastrophic thinking - we worry about what could go wrong. Identify that you are engaging in catastrophic thinking and tell yourself that you're being irrational. It will help to dispel the anxiety.

5.Divert the audience's attention. If the audience is looking at a screen or flicking through a handout, that's fewer eyes on you.

4.Visualise success. Athletes do it. So why shouldn't you? Before the big day, sit quietly and use your mind's eye to visualise how you want to come across.

3. Fake it until you can make it. Sounds obvious, but the most important thing when presenting is to appear relaxed even if you don't feel it. So focus on your body language - avoid fiddling with jewellery or jangling change in your pocket at all costs.

2.Smile and laugh. Scientists have found that your body can't tell the difference between real and fake laughter. If you smile and laugh, your body releases 'happy' chemicals to make you feel less nervous.

1. Understand that practice makes perfect. If you aren't good at it, keep trying it. Keep throwing yourself into presentation situations. All animals habituate or get used to stressful situations - so every presentation you give will make it easier and easier.

When I get round to it, I'll talk about some of these in a bit more detail. Feel free to ask questions and stuff!